Don’t Panic, it’s just a Will!

Legal matters, business strategy, and life perspectives from the mind of a non-attorney.


I was diagnosed with a Panic Disorder in February 2014.

If you’re reading this and you know what a panic attack feels like: I am sorry.

If you’re reading this and you don’t know what a panic attack feels like, the first part of this blog post is for you; to help you understand what the rest of us go through.


What does a Panic Attack feel like?

Now, once again I feel the need to preface my comments by saying that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. For some, panic attacks might not be quite as dramatic as I describe. For others – unfortunately – they are every bit of what I describe, and even more.

Imagine this:

You’re in your car at dusk, driving along the winding back roads on your way home from a weekend of camping with friends and family. It’s a dark Sunday evening, heavy cloud cover concealing the moon and the stars. That’s the least of your concerns, though. All you can think about is what you have to do to get ready for work tomorrow morning.

Really shouldn’t have stayed that late on a Sunday… But the Packers had the Sunday Night game, so whatever, it was worth it.

Then, strangely, your right foot starts falling asleep.

Why is my right foot falling asleep? That’s annoying.

You shake it to try and get the blood flowing. Adjust in your seat. No help.

How am I supposed to drive with a tingly foot?

Angrily, you slam down the remainder of your now-cold coffee.


You adjust the radio to a different station.

Just as you turn the dial, three (3) things happen simultaneously:

  1. Your right foot gets extremely heavy. It slowly depresses more and more on the accelerator. You try and lift your foot off the pedal, but for whatever reason YOU CAN’T LIFT IT OFF.
  2. The volume on the radio starts increasing.
  3. The headlights on your car shut off. Complete darkness.

All you can do is sit and watch as the RPMs go red. You’re FLYING down the road at 120… 130… 140 mph.

You can see nothing.

You know that trees line both sides of the road. Curves in the road are coming up soon.

Def Leppard blaring in your ears.

Do you feel like you’re going to die? Of course you do. It’s the only logical explanation based on all the facts you have.

That is what a panic attack feels like.

It feels like someone grabs ahold of all the figurative “levers” inside your brain and whips them into overdrive, all at once, for seemingly no reason at all.

Heart rate approaches 2-3x its normal speed. Thoughts begin racing and swirling so much that you physically cannot hold a conversation. Breathing becomes incredibly short and thin – a 1000 lb. weight is sitting on your chest.

Roughly 6 times a year I will wake out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night to this happening to my body.

Half the time I am able to control my thoughts enough to remember what is going on. I utilize some of the tactics I have developed over the years, and my ‘episodes’ end more quickly.

The other half of the time, my world spirals out of control and I all-but pick a spot on the floor for myself to die.

Eventually my world always stabilizes. It feels like hours while I’m going through it. The reality is that it last 20-30 minutes.

I guess you could compare the “post-panic” feeling to the feeling of waking up from a particularly disturbing nightmare. The pure thankfulness to be alive – to have your family happy and healthy – to have everything be ‘normal’ again.

I’ll say it again:

If you’re reading this and you know what a panic attack feels like: I am sorry.

It is living through a state of hell that nobody should have to experience.


As for the rest of you: When someone you love comes to you and complains of panic-like symptoms, please do not blow them off. Please do not demand that they “get over it”. Please do not seek out “real” explanations for the symptoms they are having. Want to get them checked out for a heart arrhythmia? – great. Beyond that, seek a reputable mental health professional for a consultation. And most of all: Love them. Support them. They feel stupid enough already, don’t do anything to add to it.


Drafting your Will

According to a 2017 study conducted by, only 42 percent of U.S. adults have estate planning documents such as a will or a living trust.

For those with children under the age of 18, only 36 percent have those documents in place.

Those are not opinions. Those are facts.

I’m not here to lecture. I get it (probably better than most): Facing your own mortality is extremely difficult.

But guess what? You’re not doing it for yourself. You’re doing it for the people you love.

You need to be able to answer these questions when drafting your will:

  • Name a guardian for your children.
  • Name a caretaker for your pets.
  • List specific personal property assets. Name desired beneficiaries. Name alternate beneficiaries.
  • Name a ‘personal representative’ to make sure your will is carried out. Name an alternate representative.
  • Name a beneficiary of any property left over.
  • Specify how debts, expenses, and taxes should be paid.
  • Specify instructions for the care/upkeep of real estate.


The time is now: Just do it. I know that you can handle it.


My tips for dealing with Panic Attacks:

  • If you are able to recognize that you are having a panic attack, focus intensely on breathing. Force yourself to take long, exaggerated breaths. In for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Out for 4 seconds.
  • Have a “go-to” person to call or talk to. It could be a parent, a significant other, or a friend. Coach this person on your condition. Tell them to talk “at you”. They shouldn’t expect a response. They can talk about dreams, sporting events, or even just recount their day. The simple act of listening to someone talk can be enormously helpful.
  • Ice on the back of the neck. No idea why, but the change of sensation helps me.
  • Take a shower. Again, no idea why, but the change of sensation helps me.


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